For breakfast I had a diabetic yogurt (it had low carbs)

For my mid-morning snack I delved into a no-no… SunChips (a 4 serving bag) I didn’t eat it all at once, but I have done so over the morning and mid day.

For lunch I have had 3oz. tunafish with a tablespoon of mayo and some relish and two crackers.

Tonight I am going to eat a salad or some grilled chicken. 

I’ll update you tomorrow.

Let me give you an example.  I’ve been drinking alcohol, eating cheesy fried foods, breads, fatty high carb foods, ice cream, sweets, etc.  And the worst part is that I will know that I’m full, but I will drink fluids allowing myself to eat more because I think that I need more food.  All of my old habits from before my surgery have creeped back into my life and I’ve allowed it.  Fortunately I’ve not gained weight because I do monitor my weight each day, but it makes me so mad inside to know that I’ve not been a good steward with the opportunity I’ve been given.

I’d like to lose 40-50 more pounds.  Right now I weigh 121 on the scale.  I should be 180 or 170 at my ideal.

1) I’m going to increase my water intake.  BUT… NOT DRINK WHEN I EAT! 
2) I’m going to go back to making my protein shakes for breakfast.
3) I’m going to keep healthy snacks at my desk at work and in my car and in my home. (almonds, lo-fat string cheese)
4) I’m going to eat slowly and be very aware of when I am getting full.
5) For lunch, I’m going to go back to ordering grilled foods.
6) I’m going to make sure I’m taking my vitamins like my doctor says I need to
7) I’m going to watch my portion intake. 
8 ) I’m going to say “No thank you” when my husband (yes… I got married recently) asks me if I want food after I already ate.
9) I’m going to stay strong and not let my eyes control the amount that I eat.  I’m going to only eat what my body says I should eat.
10) I’m going to increase my workouts from (0) per week to 3 per week.

I am going to make this work! I’m going to overcome my past habits. I’m going to eat healthfully.  I’m going to take control of my eating life again and finish what I started!

I’m going to hold myself accountable by blogging every day possible!

I’m going to make this work damnit!

My surgeon tells me that everyone responds differently.  Sometimes cold food causes the passageway to tighten, with other people it is hot foods that causes their band to feel tighter.

Hmmm… I had no clue!  I just thought I’d share this with everyone.  Something to know if you are a bander…

It happens when I eat cold foods, food in the morning, swallow before I’m finished chewing properly, or when I’m eating randomly (in the car or not paying attention to my eating).  Fortunately I find that if I just burp a lot, take very small sips of a hot fluid, spit out my spit (disgusting I know… but when something gets stuck I seem to salivate like a hungry wolf), sit up straight, and pray to God it goes away. 

I’ve not had to throw up but once in the past two-three months.  IT HAS BEEN NICE! 

But I definitely have to be super careful.  My understanding is that getting sick every once in a while is okay, but if you are getting things stuck on a regular basis either you are too tight or you aren’t watching what you eat.

They price the clothes and it is a 50/50 split.  After the clothes have been there 2 weeks, then they get marked down 10%, then the next week it goes to 25-30% off, then it goes to 50% off after the 3 weeks.  I don’t know what happens after that… if they return the clothes to me or what.  But it is a nice way to make some decent money for new clothes!

The other clothes that are really nice, but don’t match the requirements of the consignment shop, I have either taken to Goodwill/Salvation Army (to get a donation slip for tax purposes – make sure you take pictures of what you take – that way you have a record in case you are audited), or I will find someone who is my old size and likes the clothes that are available.

Anyway I have found a way to rid my closet of clothes, plus make a few bucks in the process.

Around noon I started sneezing, but it went away.  Then by that evening I was light headed, working late, and just exhausted.  All I wanted to do was go to bed.  That is exactly where I spent Tuesday afternoon. 

Monday morning I weighed in at 223.7, this morning I weighed in at 226.4.  What happened!?!

I think that somewhere in the middle of my “illness,” I made the wrong food choices, didn’t make it to the gym, worked late and chose to eat chicken fingers with honey mustard, ate more fast food than usual, and didn’t drink enough water. 

Tomorrow morning I am going to wake up, hit the gym, and start the day off with a healthy fruit smoothy.  I really believe that the working out followed by a good food choice to start the day is what I need to stay on track.

And if I’m going to be working early and working late, then I need to make sure to grab something worthwhile to eat.  I need that extra incentive to keep up the good work.  No reason to get to 223.7 and sabotage it just because I’m feeling poopy!

I need to remember a mantra, “Healthy food…feel great…lose weight…ain’t that great!”

Okay, so I’m not that good at making up a song, but I can honestly say that if I dance around or swing my head side-to-side while I say it, and I say it a couple of times, I may actually remember it the next time I find myself in need of a meal or pick-me-up!

This morning I woke up at my usual early hour and hit the gym and did a great cardio workout.  I feel pumped and ready to face the day.  I even made a fruit smoothy with almond milk, Benefiber, protein, frozen berries, and some ground flaxseed.  (I think I still have some of the seeds still stuck in my teeth… something to keep me busy while I work. Ha!)

Have a great day!  I know I will.

“Most people are prisoners, thinking only about the future or living in the past.  They are not in the present, and the present is where everything begins.” – Carlos Santana

” I saw a star, I reached for it, and I missed.  So I accepted the sky.” – Scott Fortini

It is ironic that I received these quotes right before the holidays!  Everyone who will be celebrating with me is a couple – Mom and Dad, brother and his wife, sister and her husband, friends and their spouses.  It is so easy to think about what you don’t have and what the future will hold.  Or you may be holding on to something that has happened in the past and how it affects your present life.

But these two quotes bring a new line of thinking into the picture.  If you are unable to forgive and let go (you don’t have to forget) the past and if you are worried about what is going to happen in the future, then you are missing the most beautiful moments, which are in the present. 

The present is where you have control of what happens to you.  You have control of what happens in your life – you can decide to wollow in self-pity, you can decide to stay in a bad situation, you can allow life to pass you by.  OR… you can take control of what happens and cherish the gifts (small or big) in your life that bring joy, you can get up and walk out of a bad or awkward situation, you can embrace what opportunities life has brought you and “take the bull by the horns.”

And if you don’t happen to succeed at any of those, then you can always try again.  The world has a number of opportunities for happiness.  You have to be open to them though – whatever they may be.  It may be as small as a flower or a sunset or an amazing rain/lightening/thunder storm.  Or it could be as big as someone having a baby, winning a million dollars, or having a life-changing experience.

I have been single most of my life.  I’ve not been a big dater – there are probably a hundred valid reasons for this, but I have learned some valuable lessons about singlehood over the past year.

Singlehood can be lonely during this time of year, but it is only that way because we make it such.  Happiness doesn’t have to be in having a boyfriend/girlfiend/husband/wife.  It can be found in the smallest of things – you just have to open your eyes and choose to see it.  Embrace your freedom to cherish all that life has to offer.

So I have decided that I’m putting a plan in order.  I’m going to continue my early morning workouts (just not at 5am).  I will get out and walk or do my Yoga for an hour before I even contemplate eating anything.  Then when I come in I’ll have a glass of water – which is what I already do 5 days a week.

Thanksgiving breakfast tacos in my family is a tradition.  So I’m going to have one breakfast taco each morning, but without the taco (flour tortilla).  I’ll eat it like an omlet.

I’m going to take some hot tea and my low-glycemic sweetner and my almond milk.  That will replace the hot chocolate.

For lunch I will put a spoonful of everything appetizing on my plate (which will be a salad-sized plate).  And when that plate is done, I’m done.

After lunch I plan on taking a 30 minute walk – get out and enjoy the cool Thanksgiving air.

Nap time.

After naptime I will then eat my sliver of pie or good cup of coffee.

Before supper I may try to take another walk or do some stretching.  And then at supper I’ll do the spoonful of yummies on my salad-sized plate.

And then my after dinner treat will be a glass of spiced wine… maybe two.

Now of course I may not stick to this to perfection, but I sure as heck am going to try.  And for those days after Thanksgiving when I’m sitting around with family and friends, I plan on incorporating some salads with grilled meats and a breakfast smoothie.

With all of this in place, I think that I may just succeed!

Preparation is key!  Preparation and determination to feel healthy and wonderful! 

To be honest I’m not worried about gaining a few pounds over the holidays; what concerns me most is the idea that I will have that full, clogged pores feeling that I have felt so many holidays before, and the lap bander’s nightmare of eating too much acid reflux feeling. 

I want to feel spry and sexy and be proud that I can zip those size 18′s up without having a fat roll hanging over because they are too tight!

Here is my toast to everyone (banders or not)… “May this Thanksgiving Holiday be a blessed time for you and those in your life.  May you share the joys and wonders of the simple things in this life, and cherish what blessings you do have – small or big.”

But one thing that I loved so, so much when I was researching lap bands were the blogs that gave a detailed journey of a person’s experience after surgery.

Today I can proudly proclaim that I wear a size 18 pant!  A snug 18 on some designs, but a comfy 18 in most.  I went shopping yesterday for a few new items so I could beef up my constant diminishing wardrobe.  I buy something and then turnaround and it is too big.

Well I found out that I wear an 18.  I am almost able to fit in all 18′s!!!!!  This means that I am only a few sizes closer to being able to shop at Ann Taylor, The Gap, or any regular sized store for that matter.  I can’t begin to tell you when I did that last.

As a matter of fact I remember that moment.  I remember being in college (my senior year) and I went into The Gap and The Limited and purchased a pair of jeans and a few sweaters.  And back then they were tight and it was the biggest size they sold back then. (size 16, if I remember correctly)

That is the last time I remember buying clothes in a regular store.  Wow… that has been a LONG time! Over 12 years!  Holy Cow!

What a sense of gratification I feel!  Seriously… I don’t know how to describe it to anyone.  It makes me beam inside.  I want to constantly jump for joy.  I want to share with the world (basically I am already… hee.hee.) that I wear a size 18 pant!  It is something that I believed could happen but would never have guessed it would come true.

You know… I think I still have those black Gap jeans in my closet.